"It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a suitable partner for him."
Contrary to the American maxim that extols the ‘rugged individualist,’ God did not create humanity to live in isolation and loneliness. From the first pages of the first book of the Hebrew Scriptures, the Book of Genesis, we hear of God’s divine intention for humanity. Humanity was created for intimate communion. Our lives are completed in the divine plan when we open ourselves in vulnerability to one another in friendship and love.
Friendship with another is part of God’s plan for you and me. That friendship takes on a sacramental dimension in the graced experience of marriage. While marriage does not preclude friendship with others, there is something radically unique in this relationship that from the beginning of human existence has played a pivotal and foundational role in all societies.
So important is the reality of marriage and the stability that it calls for in society that Jesus, in today’s Gospel, gives his familiar prohibition against breaking that irrevocable bond through divorce.
Scripture scholars down through the centuries have wrestled with the meaning of what, for some, is a very hard saying. Is it truly possible to give oneself completely and unreservedly in marriage to another for the rest of one’s life? For many in our society, it is not. It is said that 50% of marriages experience failure and end in divorce. That statistic is no different for Catholic couples.
Are we, then, dealing with an unrealistic ideal? Humanly speaking, perhaps. But for many couples who remain open to the grace of marriage that demands, patience, honesty, healing and forgiveness, the ideal can become reality.
I remember as a young boy serving wedding ceremonies in my parish Church. At that time, prior to the liturgical reforms of the Second Vatican Council, the priest would read at every wedding, the Exhortation before Marriage found in the ritual book. After serving countless weddings (we did get a tip!), I could almost recite this exhortation by heart. Its sentiments have served me well in the 46 years of my priesthood. I share a portion of it with you today with the hope that its wisdom might inspire those who experience challenges in marriage to seek the grace of the sacrament they share:
From this day on you will belong entirely to each other, you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. Whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this mutual life, always make them generously. Sacrifice is difficult and trying. Only love can make it easy, and perfect love can make it a joy. We are willing to give in proportion as we love. When love is perfect, the sacrifice is complete. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, and the Son so loved us that He gave Himself for our salvation. “Greater love than this no man has, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” No greater blessing can come to your married life than pure conjugal love, loyal and true to the end. Our prayer for you is that this love, with which you join your hands and your hearts today, never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on.